German Meteorologists Warn Against Peircings In Record Cold

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Monday, 12 January 2009


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Record Lows Bring New Warnings

After Slovenia set a low record temperature of -49C this past weekend, Slovenia Media have reported recommendations of the meteorological institute of Germany, which says that body piercings could cause people who venture outside in very cold weather to risk dangerous freezing.

"Please be sure to remove all nipple, lip, navel or ear piercings if you go out in extreme cold conditions", warned the public broadcasts.

"It is now -49C temperature here", stated a weatherman at the Bohin resort, "and I am heading indoors befoor mi falls teef feeze."

"With so many young people in the US and Canada who now have exposed body piercings, this could present a huge healthy problem here also", concurred New York City weatherman, Fred Frostbite, who as a teenager learned this lesson the hard way having lost half his tongue to a flagpole.

"Not only can you lose your brass monkeys, you can also lose the sack you store them in."

Meantime in Nome, Alaska, the reports of frozen well digger's asses and witches tits, especially those pierced, are up nearly 50%.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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