World Record 'Auld Lang Syne' Attempt Fails

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Thursday, 1 January 2009

image for World Record 'Auld Lang Syne' Attempt Fails
Ohhh! So close!

As the New Year celebrations wound up to a crescendo with more than 400,000 revellers packed into London's Trafalgar Square last night, news came that an attempt to break the world record for the number of people singing Auld Lang Syne, had failed.

The previous record of 400,000 participants had been set in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil in 2007, but last night's attempt tripped and fell at the last hurdle when a 23-year-old man from Peckham and his girlfriend nipped off for a session, and could not be counted in the final total, which then fell two short as a result.

The wonderful song, the lyrics of which are from a Burns poem, are almost impossible to understand. Burns was Scottish, which explains a lot.

Although the crowds had a wonderful time ushering in the new year, with police reporting only 200 arrests, the night was tinged with disappointment for the organisers of the world record attempt. One of them, Carrie Trivier, said:

"It is a disappointment. After all the hard work we put in to this project, it's heartbreaking to discover that one randy couple who just couldn't wait until they'd got home, spoiled it for all those people. We won't be beaten though. We'll redouble our efforts, an try again next year. It's important that we wrest the record from Brazil."

In related news, Elton John, the famous bald bisexual, performed some of his most popular dirges at the O2 Arena to a crowd of more than 40 people.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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