Paper is a waste of trees

Funny story written by Mary Popin

Monday, 15 December 2008

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Wooden Park Bench

Material sent out by candidates and officials in September's Council polls was enough to fill up two Parks and one forest with trees, according to a concern group study.

Dog owners Acting for People and the Environment said 551 tonnes of paper were sent by candidates and 269 tonnes by the government.

"This is equivalent to 19,680 trees that are 2 meters tall, or a large forest and one wooden Park bench," said CRAP project coordinator Carol Leaf.

And the effort was largely wasted, with a survey conducted by the group this month finding that a lot of paper had been used and 90 percent of 500 respondents said the trees should have been used for log fires during the winter.

More than half of the respondents tossed the paper into the rubbish bin compared with 36 percent who used it to wipe their arse, Leaf said.

CRAP's survey also found 79 percent would prefer to receive oral sex while only 6 percent who disagreed with the taste.

A total of 81 percent said that if printed matter should be sent, it must be copied on 100 percent paper.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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