Written by winston_smith

Tuesday, 2 December 2008

image for China Shrinks Population
How many Chinese on the head of a c*ck?

Beijing, China: In what appears to be a leap in quantum physics and nanotechnology the Chinese government has "nanoized" an entire province to fit inside a thimble. CIA and National Security officials are with holding comment of the geo political implications of this mind boggling accomplishment.

Nano technology is the ability to control matter on an atomic and molecular scale. The potential applications of which could change every field of human endeavor. Where cancer cells can be modified and eradicated at a molecular level or to an unlimited clean energy source. Until now it was only theoretically conjectured the ability to shrink items to the nano size, specifically humans.

"The Chinese government vehemently denies that this occurred. Perhaps hoping that the province of Gansu, missing since last Thursday, would go unnoticed in a country with over a billion people. The land mass is still there, but every person, house, building, chicken, duck, dog, are gone," said an unnamed source spokesperson for maybe the NSA or CIA.

Wu Bangguo, National People's Congress chairman said in response, "This is preposterous. The Chinese government would no way recklessly endanger or experiment on their own people. It's slanderous propaganda perpetrated by the enemies of the Chinese people."

Never the less, Hu Jintao, Chinese President, was seen happily tossing and toying with a thimble sized cylinder when questioned a spokesman discounted as his 'personal suppository'.

The unnamed CIA or NSA source speculated on this extraordinary accomplishment with it's implications.

"Think about it, they could feed an entire province of over 50 million people with one Cheeto, invade a country by simply mailing a letter, revolutionize the sex industry by having forty thousand people dancing on the head of your c*ck. Whew," he shook his head at the enormity of the diminutiveness.

"For all intents and purpose, they could already be here," he said.

But, how would you know?, we questioned.

"I just have a funny feeling."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: China

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