Zeus to light torch at Athen's Olympics ceremony

Written by Frank Cotolo

Tuesday, 1 June 2004

image for Zeus to light torch at Athen's Olympics ceremony
Athens hosts Olympics and ancient god this summer.

ATHENS, Greece -- Zeus, the supreme ruler of Mount Olympus and of the Pantheon of gods who resided there, has agreed to take part in the opening ceremonies of the 2004 Summer Olympic Games in Athens.

Unheard from in centuries, the Greek god who upheld law, justice and morals, and was the spiritual leader of both gods and men, was contacted by the Olympic committee through his long-time agent, Delta Entertainers.

Delta spokesman Irv Buchwald said, "It is the first request we have had for him in ages, literally."

Olympic planners were looking for something giant to use in the opening ceremonies, since Greece is so rich with Olympic history.

The idea to use the celestial god was to be kept secret and made a huge surprise when Zeus himself lighted the torch. But when word got out that Delta had been contacted, the Vatican quickly protested to the Olympic committee.

"They told us," said a committee member, "that if they could get Jesus Christ, we should reconsider using Zeus. Ultimately we declined because the connection between Jesus and Athens just isn't as dramatic as the one between the city and Zeus."

The price for the appearance, says Delta, will remain undisclosed.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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