UN Official Calls for Promotion of Buggery

Written by Rusty

Monday, 22 September 2008


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"Oh my God ! You want to stick it WHERE?"

At the United Nations Population Control Conference in Istanbul last week the Saudi Arabian-born executive director of the UN Population Fund, MsThoraya Obaid, called for more funding for the propagation of Third World population control and the 'de-stigmatizing' of sodomy.

Obaid began her remarks by commemorating the 40th anniversary of Ronnie Turdprodder's book, 'Take it Like a Man', which had awakened readers worldwide to the threat of overpopulation and doubly appeased the Vatican hierarchy regarding contraception issues by promoting the practice of sodomy as the surest method of birth control, of which Catholic priests had been fully cognisant for centuries. (Anyone ever seen a pregnant choirboy?)

While she admitted the book's prediction of the collapse of the condom industry had not come to pass, she emphasised the fact that most Third World males had no conception (a pun?)) of condom mechanics and should resort to anal copulation with their wives, girl-friends or mistresses (whoever) to eliminate the prospect of pregnancies.

Ms. Obaid cited the 'Asian Tiger Economy' miracle of the late1980's in which a boom in economic development had followed a drop in regional childbirths due many Oriental women consenting to take it up the arse as their contribution to the UN's 'Sphincter Stretchers' planned parenthood campaign.

That statistics for the increase of cases of chronic constipation and haemorrhoids among adult females had swerved off the charts following the adoption of this bum shagging policy was termed an acceptable (albeit pain in the arse) consequence due the vital success of the campaign.

A bout of raucous laughter echoed across the conference hall when a Turkish heckler commented that Ms. Obaid's inadvertent reference to her 'target' for population control was the female brown eye, which propagated a steam of bawdy responses and ajoinders, including several homophobic references to 'shit clackers', 'fudge burglars' and 'goat-bonkers'.

Perhaps most controversial in the conference's record was Obaid's claim that the UN and global religious institutions must fight even harder against stigma and discrimination concerning this method of population control and included men having sex with men, and certain animal groups, such as prettygoats and sensual sheep, among marginalized groups needing special protection.

Ms.Thoraya Obaid, formerly Mr. Ahmed Obaid prior to his / her transgender surgery, is the first Saudi Arabian to head a United Nations agency and has long been an outspoken supporter of full-on anal sex as a planned parenthood alternative to traditional methods of contraception or abortion.

Going on record last year during a guest appearance on the Oprah Shitney show, Obaid candidly confided to her host that while she adored being a three hole slut in a private trois et menage, nothing could beat a good old fashioned, Saudi-style ass-banging.

Eldest daughter of wealthy Saudi Arabian pharmaceuticals tycoon, Sheik Well Before Using, Obaid's previous positions at the UN have included the Armenian cross-legged missionary, the Lybian full doggy, the Syrian half-doggy, and the Rangoon rectum rauncher.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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