Local Man Builds a 'Wickerman' for Vile Pervert Gary Glitter

Funny story written by John Poirot

Friday, 19 September 2008


The funny story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature. This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you wish to back out now, please click here to go back to the home page.

image for Local Man Builds a 'Wickerman' for Vile Pervert Gary Glitter
Happiness After Glitter is Burned in the Wickerman

Major Tom and Major Minor exclusively revealed their plan to burn the Pop Pervert Gary Glitter in their hand made Wickerman.

Major Minor will patiently wait outside the Pop Peado Gary Glitter's place of stay as the location has been freely given by a reliable source (a journalist).

Ground control to Major Tom

He will be calling ground control to Major Tom who will then bring the Wickerman on his truck whilst drinking mead in the nude and carrying a tourch to light the Wickerman once the Pop Peado Gary Glitter has been abducted, bond, tied and gagged then placed into the Wickerman before he is set on fire to burn him and his sinful thoughts to death.

Poor, Penniless, Poverty-stricken Mother Living in a box

Angry, annoyed and ashamed Major Tom's 97 year old Mother Maurice told us "It took my son and his friend Major Minor one whole year to build the Wickerman, he spent all my pension money and sold my house to build it. Now, I'm living in a box, I'm living in a cardboard box, I'm living in a box, I'm living in a box and my only friends are the British pop boy band 'Living in a box' who only had one hit and ironically are now living in a cardboard box."

Extensive research on Wikipedia and The Sun news

Major Tom explained his reasons for wanting to kill the Child Groping Gary Glitter "After minutes of extensive research on Wikipedia and reading the Sun newspaper he was profiting at least £1.8 million per month by being in the newspapers whilst luxurously living in his home-made cell/mansion in Vietnam. This vile pervert has sadly cost me my home and my mother to live in a cardboard box.

"It is all his fault and the sooner the Pervert Gary Glitter dies the quicker we can all get our life back together and live happily ever after."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more