Written by matwil

Sunday, 22 June 2008

image for Find A Final Holiday Solution In Croatia
One of thousands of Croatian ghost villages

Today Croatia was offering cheap holidays again, and visitors can stay in the cities of Dubrovnik and Split for as little as £22 ($89) a week.

Croatia has long been seen as a popular destination for Germans and Austrians, and Argentinians, and offers everything that more expensive areas such as Italy do.

In July there is the traditional Mazchin-Gzunbosnianz festival, and in August there are the Etnik Klenzic celebrations. Tourists can also go to the country's many museums, which are full of light green and black uniforms, and lots of red armbands with the ancient black Croatian cross symbol.

Coach tours visit the delightful Croatian towns of KzampA and KzampB, and thousands of mysteriously empty ghost villages to the south east of the country, and of course the peasant shooting season opens in September.

The government's tourist chief, Davor Vlaovic said: 'You don't even need to bring your own guns here, we can sell you lots of cheap ones for a few pennies. And if you're lucky, you can see Serbians and Croats actually joining forces to mass-murder Muslims, it's what makes the perfect holiday!'

And a German on vacation in Split said: 'It's just like the old days here, I was almost expecting to see old Wolfie at a rally! Think we might be staying a bit longer than we planned, the old country has let itself go now.'

But Dubrovnik's mayor, Igor Prso, added: 'One of our best features is the Bosnian restaurant, the Sarajevan. OK, it's disappeared - only joking!'

And an American, George Whereami Bush said: 'Heck, they've only been fighing for a thousand years? Maybe we can sort it all out in a few days.'

Turkey is 400 years old today.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Holiday, Croatia

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