Shut It Down Screams Ramsay At Food Crisis Meeting

Written by David Hawkins

Thursday, 8 May 2008

image for Shut It Down Screams Ramsay At Food Crisis Meeting
He squished my hat. It wasn't very Delish. Rachel Ray propounded.

"You can't even make a risotto?" Gordon Ramsey shouts at the UN Food Crisis Management Meeting today. "Shut it down, shut the kitchen down."

With millions facing hunger and starvation due to the current food crisis (according to a talking woodpecker on TV) the crisis will likely continue as long as those who dominate the international grain markets remain unwilling to change their behavior and the media need the freshest story to scare the crap out of people about instead of addressing real issues like the color of Obama's next turd or when the next insipid Harry Potter movie is being shoved down our throats.

Ramsey, the insufferable Scottish chef, television personality and entrepreneur was invited to help figure out a possible solution to the crisis but being a stubborn, closed minded Michelin star wielding foodie, he didn't understand the issues and insisted that nobody knew how to cook properly.

"You call this a cheese sandwich? That's not even good enough for a dog's dinner, you donkey." he bloviated at the meeting.

After several outbursts he was thrown out and nothing ever got done because it's not really a crisis in the first place.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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