Written by Kent Pete

Saturday, 5 April 2008

image for Harry on Afghan front line
Harry...Don't be a Hero.

In an amazing story of loyalty and courage it has been revealed that Harry has been fighting the Taleban on the front line in Afghanistan, the MoD has confirmed. Harry, 23, the third son of Mark and Julie Dawson of Rotherham, South Yorkshire, has spent the last 30 weeks serving in the Helmand Province.

Dawson joked about his nickname "the bullet magnet", [he has been shot on four separate occasions since joining the Army as a fresh faced 17 year old], but told our reporter,

"It's fantastic. I have again been given the chance to do the soldiering that I trained so hard for. To fight for Queen and Country is an honour and I will never forget the experience."

The story of Harry Dawson is made all the more incredible given the fact that he expects so little from the country that he is willing to lay down his young life for.

Having survived a childhood of abject poverty caused entirely by the pit closure's of the early 1980's, his parent's bitter divorce, his eldest brother's death due to a heroin overdose in 1991 and five years at the notoriously violent Swinton Comprehensive School, he was told by his headmaster that he would be unlikely to find work in the Rotherham area due to his lack of formal qualifications. With his mother drinking more and more heavily Harry decided that he had little choice but to leave home.

A clever recruitment drive by the MoD which targeted shopping centre's in the poorest parts of Britain, first drew Dawson's attention to the possibility of a career in the Army. He joined the Royal Anglican Regiment on September 1st 2002, two weeks before his eighteenth birthday.

As well as fighting in Afghanistan, the young Yorkshireman has served in Iraq for nine months back in November 2004, surviving a car bomb attack that killed three of his close friends and colleagues.

The publication of this news will unfortunately not bring Harry Dawson home in time for the Easter holidays.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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