Confirmed Bachelor Sidney Aldridge from Weston Super Mare has been excluded from the gay community due to his inability to lisp.
Part-time uphill gardener Sidney,69, said 'I like to take it up the wrong 'un as much as the next man but I just can't get the hang of this lisping malarkey. My friend Dorothy has been helping me with speech therapy but its not making any difference.'
Rear Admiral Nick Vamp head of the Association of North American Lispers (ANAL) confirmed Sidney's ejection from the group at a press conference today.
"We gave him a ring and thought he sounded a bit like he batted for the other side, so he had to go. Lisping along with a complete inability to catch a ball is mandatory. No exceptions.'
Sidney is quoted as finding the verdict 'difficult to swallow.'