FAA Plans to ground all World Airlines

Funny story written by phrip

Sunday, 13 April 2008

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Making it clear that safety is here to stay again, the FAA plan to extend their grounding of air carriers to every air carrier in the world, bringing "US Style Safety' to airlines that, while they may not have explicitly requested the assistance, clearly require it.

Robert Sturgell, Acting Administrator of the FAA, leads the 43,000 employees that operate the largest air traffic control system in the world.

"It is clear to me that allowing air carriers to hold themselves accountable for inspections and reporting has been an overwhelming success. The widespread groundings of the past couple of weeks have demonstrated not only the willingness of the key stakeholders to participate in this system, but also the quality of the inspection and reporting process itself.

Airlines like Quantas, Air Transat, and others that experience virtually no self-reported incidents really have no verifiable data on how safe their planes are - how can we allow this 'absence of evidence' approach to persist? And, the fact that none of them have asked us to put our systems in to replace theirs, this very silence indicates the scope of the problem, and proves the need for us to ground each and every one of them, if only to underscore the clear leadership of the FAA in Aviation Safety."

While not able to offer specifics, Sturgell underscored that the FAA's seemingly boundless plans for international expansion were certain to offer benefits, and would contain a clear scope of operations, as well as a clear timeline for the recipients to attain the same level of 'Self-Reporting Capacity' currently enjoyed by the FAA themselves.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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