Boehringee Ingelheim to sue Tako Bell over laxative effect

Funny story written by Dr Edward Maxwell

Thursday, 20 March 2008

image for Boehringee Ingelheim to sue Tako Bell over laxative effect
The laxative effect is so powerful in these Tako Bell fajitas that it is occurring even before human ingestion

German company Boehringee Ingelheim, maker of the number two leading laxative "Doocolax," is suing number two US fast food giant Tako Bell for unfair trade practices, an attorney representing the laxative maker said today.

"Tako Bell is playing fast and loose with US trade rules," said Boehringee Ingelheim lawyer John Stool. "Because of their unfair trade practices, they are flush with success. But Boehringee Ingelheim is losing its ass while trying to take care of its business."

Tako Bell makes Americanized versions of traditional Mexican foods like tacos, burritos, fajitas, enchiladas, and quesadillas. Despite Tako Bell's attempt to remove all flavor and nutrition from their menu items, their food still tends to give people diarrhea. Boehringee Ingelheim considers this unfair competition, because their flagship product Doocolax treats constipation.

"In today's tough economic times, who wants to buy the Doocolax laxative when a trip to Tako Bell can cure both hunger and constipation?" Stool wrote in an official release.

Tako Bell denies that their food cures constipation, and has offered to place a warning on their food wrappers stating that "This food is not intended for use as a laxative."

Boehringee Ingelheim has not responded to the Tako Bell offer.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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