Fit as a Fidel

Funny story written by queen mudder

Tuesday, 19 February 2008

image for Fit as a Fidel
Fidel: recovering in a Havana intensive-care humidor today

Havana - (Double Maduro Mess): The popular cold war tribute act who has played the role of Cuba's Fidel Castro for the last 25 years has announced his retirement.

El Presidente has been languishing in a Havana intensive care humidor ever since the Bush Administration upped the ante on its cigar trading embargo with Cuba and reinforced its local on-site sanctions enforcement facility with Guantanamo Bay 2.

"Plenty new wannabe tribute act follow-ons are waiting in the wings," Fidel announced today in the official Cuban Communist Party paper Grandma, an organ named after Pope Pius XII's mother, a notorious Bolshevik hooker and sometime wife of the psychotic necromancer named Rasputin.

The current Fidel incarnation was implanted into the Havana top-spot by a rabid George Herbert Bush during his Ronnie Raygun Veep days.

This followed the capitulation of the original General Castro who was on the point of handing over power to a top NATO commander following the discovery of huge oil and natural gas reserves off the island's territorial waters.

The idea of NATO top brass annexing the vast hydrocarbons reserves made Vice President Bush foam at the mouth with hysterical angst.

It also exposed the official cover-ups relating to flaccid attempts in 1976 during his tenure of the CIA top orifice to lay claim himself to the oilfields off Havana.

Those classified documents lay bare the sordid details of the Nazi cabbal which reinvented itself as the Global Piss Process of mobster cartels such as the gangsters Bush2, the Clintons, Dick Cheney, Pope JP2 Lodge, Ratzinger, the Blairs, Gorgon Brown and 99% of the Pupet Monarchy of Albion.

Condosleezza Rice is 69.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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