Ghosts of Marshal Tito, Comrade Brezhnev, Join Castro to Celebrate Cuban Anniversary

Funny story written by alex palamedes

Thursday, 22 April 2004

Ghosts of long dead Socialist Heroes were present to celebrate the 43rd Anniversary of the Cuban Revolution, joined by former Anarchist revolutionary rivals, and even by left leaning humanists such as T.S. Eliot and Greek novelist Stratos Tsirkas. The ghost of Stalin was not invited. Cuban officials said they blamed Stalin for plotting the defeat of the independent minded Spanish and Greek leftist revolutions in the 1930s and 1940s - out of which a new Europe might have been projected.

The Communists made mistakes, said Tsirkas' spirit form. Not all peoples are the same, different cultures were more or less receptive to communism or fascism and should have been treated accordingly. He singled out "the clever fool Gorbachev" for going against the wishes of the Soviet people and "trusting the Americans - they bombed us with napalm, you know, in 1947."

But, Tsirkas added, "mistakes are one thing - ideology is another. And there were many successes. Unfortunately the USA made less mistakes and successfully undermined the USSR and then Yugoslavia where it supplied arms and guidance to Croatian fascists and Islamic fundamentalists. Sadly, social and industrial standards have collapsed throughout the old eastern bloc.... is there any happiness left?"

"Humans, wake up," said T.S. Eliot.

Among living representatives, Mr Moses Dani Baah, Deputy Minister of Health for Ghana, thanked Cuba and said that the intervention of over 180 Cuban trained medical practitioners currently working in remotest parts of the country had saved Ghana's Health Sector.

"The Cuban doctors are doing very well, rendering needed services to our brothers and sisters in the rural areas", he said. The Ministry of Health would consider the procurement of vaccines from Cuba, which represented the last icon of hope to most of the world after the inexplicable suicide of the USSR.

A retired couple from Strafford, Vermont, facing $55,000 in fines for trips to Cuba they made while writing a travel book for bicyclists, said they wanted to attend but were detained by US paramilitaries.

By traveling to Cuba, the Smiths violated U.S. sanctions that go back four decades. Now they've been told they could pay as much as $55,000 in fines for the trip

As the ghosts of dead comrades outshown firework displays, Cuban President Fidel Castro lashed out at the United States. Appearing on television, Castro said the Cuban Revolution will survive his death "because there is no power in the world that can defeat it."

In a poll sponsored by the newspaper Milenio, 80 percent of those questioned said U.S. pressure led to Mexico's April 15 contra-Cuba vote at the U.N. Human Rights Commission in Geneva.

Sizable majorities also said they believe United States has greater problems of drug addiction, alcoholism, police brutality, family deterioration, corruption, insecurity, prostitution and child abuse than does Cuba.

"The world is with us, Latin America, Asia, India, China..." said Che Guevara, making a late appearance. "The west is sick, it doesn't look at the world, its dialogue is no longer with the world, but with its own conscience. Go ahead, bomb. We'll eat you up in our streets."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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