Written by Jesus Budda

Sunday, 27 January 2008

Mrs Elizabeth Merryweather, 82 shocked locals today with a display of extreme graphic nudity in front of the Country Union of Novelty Tambourines and Zithers (or C.U.N.T.Z - for short) annual convention.

While laying out the displays of exotic musical instruments in alphabetical order, as she does each year for the much cherished national event which takes place each winter in Shittzville, Ill, Mrs Merryweather over-reached and in so doing the elastic in her favorite aquamarine-blue lace satin undies snapped.

"I saw a beaver", said one passer-by, Dan Druff, "over by that riverbank building a dam and then I heard a snapping sound and when I turned around I saw a woman's pussy cat leaping from her arms and scampering over a fence. Then I eventually noticed a lady with a wrinkled 'ol butt dangling ass skywards by a stall".

Mrs Merryweather, the widow of the man who invented non-stick glue, was said to be slowly recovering in a local hospital.

"She's a little confused but she says she hadn't been that excited in years. Not since her wild crack whore days in Harlem", said one senile old biddy near reception.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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