Life for Sydney's homeless "really sucks"

Funny story written by Noshing Mink

Monday, 17 December 2007

image for Life for Sydney's homeless "really sucks"
Pete Smelly who ditched a high-paid job in the banking industry to become a tramp is a victim of Government policy

An Australian man who has been living homeless for 8 years on the streets of Sydney blasted the Government, saying that life for hundreds of homeless people like himself was "crap" and "really sucks".

Pete Smelly, 47, was a merchant banker who lived the high life but he gave it all up "for a laugh". He wears a black bag and sleeps under a bridge. Although the Government has offered him nice housing and hot meals, he has scornfully rejected these offers, demanding "What do they think I am?"

His criticisms of the Government are echoed by many other homeless people. The Shane family were originally from Brixton, South London, but they got deported for stealing cars. Although they were heroes when they first arrived in Australia, their notoriety soon turned to shame, as they had nowhere to live and started dealing in drugs. Father of 12, Mike Shane, has refused to move to a 7-bedroom house in the posh, southern suburbs of Sydney, saying "How could we deal drugs if we lived in a posh house?"

Opposition politicians have seized on the story, condemning Government policies for producing so many homeless people. One Aussie in a suit told our reporter:

"There may be as many as 1 million adults in the country who choose to be unemployed. That is a sad indictment of the Government's economic policy. All these voluntary homeless people on the streets are also victims of Government policies."

We tried speaking to a Government Minister but were told they were all too busy "raising money for charity".

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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