Bogota, Colombia - (Associated Mess): An unemployed Colombian satirist has been reported as having sewn shut his mouth and locked himself behind a grotesque mask to demand the return of comedy to his beleaguered life.
Luis Miguel Aldana, 52, told The Associated Mess on Saturday that he adopted this peculiar form of protest "because everything else had failed".
"I try to earn an honest crust as best I can," Aldana said, "but life is shit. So I tend to satirise a bit to pass the time away and have a bit of a laugh.
"But everything's suddenly different and nobody seems to care. So I'm staging this protest to make my point."
Aldana said that five days ago he became locked out of his comedy site after a mysterious satire-eating bug began slowly chomping away at the system.
Instead of posting his regular parodies Aldana says he will quietly seek to amuse himself until the cracks widen in the system.
"Maybe then they'll re-open satire back to the glory-days of yesteryear," Aldana said.
He is demanding the government provide a satire grant to jump-start a parody cottage industry.
"I'm doing this to get attention because people have a heart of iron. They don't listen to anybody and think this is a joke," Aldana added, speaking out of the corner of his mouth that is not sewn shut.
Aldana currently is living in a neighbor's shed where he sits in bed with his hands and legs shackled in chains.
"And this ain't some wacko kinky number either," Aldana snarled after hearing the suggestion.
Despite soaring economic growth the past three years, Colombia's satire unemployment rate has remained stubbornly high.