Another Russian cocaine submarine seized

Funny story written by queen mudder

Thursday, 20 September 2007

image for Another Russian cocaine submarine seized
The second Russian coke sub to be busted in less than three months

Plettenberg, South Africa - (Pretoria Prattler): UK Royal Navy patrols have seized yet another Russian submarine carrying a vast cargo of cocaine following reports of a foreign submersible "acting erratically" before going belly-up in the bay off Beacon Isle resort near Cape Town, South Africa.

Startled surfers raised the alarm when the sub "literally popped up out of nowhere in the balmy waters" before listing heavily to starboard.

A number of witnesses reported seeing the sub's crew tossing large cargo bales out into the sea which coastguards and DEA officers soon swooped on.

"Then a patrol boat appeared on the horizon carrying the Royal Ensign and began powering up its guns in the direction of the sub," local watersports enthusiast Wally Wallyburger told South Africa Tonight news.

What happened next is blurred. But a number of beachside residents said RN crew boarded the sub and took half a dozen prisoners "including the sub's Captain Marco Ramius".

Ramius was last in the news earlier this summer when busted by another UK Royal Navy patrol boat off Guatemala which seized him, his crew and 20 tonnes of pure Bolivian cocaine after the sub struck a sandbank.

At the time of his arrest Ramius blamed his crew's poor steering abilities on a "dodgy Mexican take-out meal" consisting of "vegetarian matter" which later turned out to be ganja.

"We thought we were near the Russian Arctic sub base where we were to deliver our freight to the oil drilling workers' social club," Ramius told US Coastguards in July.

Today he and his crew are under arrest in Pretoria.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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