Caracas, Venezuela (WTF News) - Head Venezuelan hombré, President Hugo Chavez, has requested five-thousand Russian-made Dragunov sniper rifles to defend his homeland from an imminent attack by the United States.
Meanwhile, Russian President Vladimir Putin was too busy being half-naked and wrestling large fish from wild streams using nothing but his bare hands to take notice.
US Commander-in-Chief, George W. Bush, did take notice however. Countering Chavez's request with remarks of his own at a Veterans of Foreign Wars convention: "Bring it on, tough guy! Ever heard of a conflict called Vietnam? Neither did I until my speech writers put it in front of me."
Not to be outdone, French President Nicolas Sarkozy acknowledged that he wants all foreign troops to leave Vietnam, er... Iraq and enter a jousting competition where the winner will face him atop an airbrushed Percheron stallion.
Sensing that people might start to think he is a sissy, Canadian Prime Minister Stephen 'Bush Lite' Harper announced plans to construct two of his very own military bases in the frozen north. (Honestly? -- We all know that the only competition that matters between Canada and Russia is ice hockey!)
This caused Japanese Prime Minister Shinzo Abe to seek to broaden the traditionally narrow interpretation of Article 9 of the Constitution of Japan.
Feeling like a bit of a 'putz', Gordon Brown sent British defence secretary Des Brown before reporters to acknowledge that fratricide does happen from time-to-time (especially with the US military). But not to get too upset over it.
Subsequently, German Chancellor Angela Merkel reiterated her standing threat to go to war with the next person who tries to massage her shoulders.
At that point Mr. Putin agreed to sell Mr. Chavez the sniper rifles, but not the bullets that go with them.
