I'm Outraged Claims GOD

Funny story written by Terrance Wilkinson

Sunday, 22 July 2007

image for I'm Outraged Claims GOD
Jesus Telling us to "Sling Ah Hook"

TheSpoof! can officially announce that Leader of the Christians known to many as GOD is rumored to be very outraged over the recent attacks on his name by insurance companies who just don't want cough up and pay out. GOD is apparently going to release a statement that states that even though he does have all the power in the world to do as he likes it does not mean that we can blame him if for everything.

According to a spokesangel for GOD, the recent bad weather is actually down to Jesus, his son, who apparently flicked the wrong button in the weather station causing the British isles to be attacked by heavy rain when in fact he was meant to press the button to flood out the USA as he is sick of the recent prayers asking for another leader to take over that country.

Jesus Christ who currently lives in Sheffield failed to comment. However, Craig Dewar of Pollok, Bonny Scotland has claimed that GOD is always to blame and that Nostradamus, who was a closet Scot, told us years ago that he would wreak vengeance upon us all in time and that the flooding throughout England is proof and that its bad parenting to blame everything on JC.

The Jesus Army will be going on strike later in the year in defence of Their Supreme Leader Jesus Christ and will do everything they can to clear up his name. Mr Jaques Ass of The Jesus Army claims that he is telephoned everyday by JC who sobs constantly for hours on end as he is apparently getting the blame for everything, he says that if his dad forgets stuff its his fault, according to JC Venice was also the work of GOD and not himself or the Italian people though he did take responsibility for the leaning tower of Pisa and said he tilted it "for a bit of a laugh".

God's Statement will be read out by himself on December 25th at 3pm rivaling the Queens.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more