President Bush has ordered all branches of the military to remove age restrictions in their recruitment of new personnel.
"From now on everyone will have to pull their weight for democracy and freedom," said Bush in his weekly radio address, "instead of 18 years and older, it will now be 18 months and older. We can't afford to wait we need to begin training our youth to fight from a very young age and increase the size of our military."
The Marines have already announce plans to run ads that utilize the controversial Tele-Tubbies, including Tinky-Winky with a new Tele-Tubby friend named Sargy-Wargy. The Navy show a little boy playing in the tub with a plastic boat then imagining himself on a Naval battle cruiser.
Parenting organizations across the country are outraged and are calling for all parents to call their Senators and Congressmen to demand impeachment proceedings against the President.
Army Brigadier General Martin Schorcesis said, "We have to think about what's the best for our country. We have designed new tanks small enough for a 5 year old to operate. The airforce has a new fighter jet being planned for a 10 year old. We'll be able to downsize our equipment and save millions of dollars in precious materials and resources. Imagine a Naval Aircraft carrier only one quarter of the size of current carriers."
"Stealth," said an Air Force technology specialist, "With smaller sized pilots and personnel, we'll be virtually undetectable."
Senator Pelosy has already called for a special session to discuss this latest policy change by the Bush Administration and consider various responses, including impeachment proceedings.
