Written by Evan Essence

Saturday, 30 June 2007

Kennebunkport, Maine - After a long day of angry debate, bellicose posturing and fierce name-calling, Vladimir Putin and George Bush met together in the evening, in private, to share warm hugs, and to toast the success of their summit meeting in…once again…accelerating the nuclear arms race between the two nations.

Harvard professor of political science, Barney Hampton, observed that both heads of state need a new Cold War to marshal blind patriotism among their countrymen, so that they can continue to consolidate power, and further restrict public rights.

Professor Hampton remarked, "Bush's 'War on Terror' is being used as a pretext to spend trillions of dollars on massive weapons systems, which are totally ineffective in fighting terrorism. Terrorists, by definition are clandestine networks of individuals, who are beholden to no nation…can slip across borders…and sneak quietly through subway stations, or the crowded streets of Baghdad, at night. It should be quite obvious that more battleships, jets, missiles, and nuclear weapons, can't possibly be used to effectively fight terrorism. It certainly hasn't worked in Iraq!"

Profesor Hampton continued, "With the American public finally catching on to the fact that the Weopons-of-Mass-Destruction thing, was a fabrication, and that the War in Iraq was a diversion from the real terrorist threat, and....faced with the danger that the War in Iraq may be coming to an end...the Cheney administration is looking to inflate other fears, in order to rationalize their massive pork-barrel military spending."

"With the collapse of the Iron Curtain, in 1991, Bush's support for an anti-missile defense system, had become an albatross with no conceivable justification."

"The Bush administration has been waiting eagerly for Iran to develop nuclear weapons, to serve as an opponent worthy of the trillions of dollars to be spent on an anti-missile defense system. However, the best estimate of security experts, is that it will still be many years before Iran can build nuclear weapons. And even then, they wouldn't have the missiles to launch them."

"If antagonism between Russia and the US didn't exist, it would have to be invented. And that was the purpose of the summit this week," professor Hampton emphasized.

Editors note: Evan Essence recieved his Masters Degree in Journalism (2003), and his PhD in Political Science (2004) from House-of-Spam Internet Marketing

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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