Pre-solstice astrology has Armageddon written all over it

Funny story written by queen mudder

Sunday, 17 June 2007

image for Pre-solstice astrology has Armageddon written all over it
Armageddinouttahere for Old Fatty Mountbatten

The Cosmos - (Ass Mess): This year's pre-Summer Solstice astrology has all the signs and omens of a massive upheaval for world governments according to the combined resources of the World Wiccan Council meeting this weekend in London's Strawberry Hill.

A portenteous Sun-Pluto opposition on Tuesday 19 June falls on the Christian calendar's St Jude's Day which is commemorated in memory of miracles worked on behalf of apparent lost causes.

The prognostication for the start of the Royal Ascot meeting is one of total whitewash with an especially dire warning for dodgy Sheikh horse trainers such as Sayyed Bin Suroor, the handler for Goldolphin, UK maestros Sir Michael Stoute and Henry Cecil and Shaikh McTomb Raider's personal jockey Lanfranco Dettori.

At 27 degrees Gemini/Sagittarius Tuesday's Sun-Pluto clash is the second but last time in the next 288 years that the event will taken place in this exact configuation.

Both the solar and plutonian transits cut across strategic astrological lines linked to the Third Reich, the birth chart of Adolf Hitler, Joseph Stalin, Pope Pius XII and most cold war dictators who went on to reinvent themselves as Global Piss Porcess luminaries.

Most ominously the transit sits on the truth button located in Pope Joseph Ratzinger's personal chart and denote a Luciferian fall from grace in the kindest possible interpretation of the conjunction.

In UK Prime Monster Tony Blair's chart the Sun-Pluto opposition denotes the rudest awakening of a lifetime which may manifest itself as the cash-for-peerages cops smashing down the door at Number 10 and dragging him and gargoyle wife Cherie kicking and screaming straight down to HMP Belmarsh.

For 95% of the House of Mountbatten's Puppet Monarchy the aspect is treacherous, dismal and utterly final.

It's greatest intensity may be felt by Old Fatty Mountbatten herself as she sits ensconced in Windsor Castle during her prolonged squat of property to which she has absolutely no claim.

Tuesday's awesome cosmic clash will reverberate for at least 48 hours like the aftershocks of Vesuvius or Etna.

The annual solar ingress into the sign of Cancer at 18.06GMT on Thursday 21st is likely to be the first moment of calm returning in what promises to be an Armageddon-like moment for the combined law enforcement agencies of the western world.

This weekend's World Wiccan Council's recommendations to its members around the globe?

Batten down the hatches, get in a few extra dozen bottles of your favorite tipple and sit back to marvel at the unprecedented upheaval.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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