Osama Bin Laden, one of the worlds most wanted terrorists, was today found safe and well in a bath at the White House.
The first lady Laura Bush had just dropped her kecks when she heard a noise from behind the shower curtain. Upon opening the curtain, Mrs Bush was greeted by a naked Bin Laden scrubbing his scrotum.
It is thought that bin laden was about to shave his beard when the president burst in the room and exclaimed: "Not with my Gillette you don't!". There was then a violent struggle and it is thought MR Bush ended up sitting on the razor. He has since been known as "Arsenic Bush".
A White House spokesman today confirmed that the Al Queda operative was remanded in the White House cellar where he was being interrogated by Bush's Dog. Apparently he made more sense than the president.