Written by Cal Jennings

Sunday, 15 April 2007

image for George Bush Declares War on Israel
George Bush and Pat Robertson

In his Speech to the Nation, President George Bush declared war on Israel. The President declared, "You can just look at a picture of Jesus and tell he's a member of Al-Qaeda. Look at him. He looks like Osama Bin Laden. Besides, you can tell from his pictures that those people are gay. They walk around in robes saying stuff like, 'Love your neighbor.'"

The head of the Christian Right was outraged and demanded an explanation.

President Bush replied, "I said, 'Jesus,' not Christ. I'm on your side. Heh heh... I'm the CHRISTIAN President, remember?"

Robert Grant, Pat Robertson, Jerry Falwell, and Ed McAteer replied, "Oh, yeah," and seemed to be satisfied with the president's response.

None of them could be reached for further comment; however, Pat Robertson declared on his show, "President Bush truly is the Christian President. I heard him say it myself."

Robertson confirmed Bush's belief that Jesus is a member of Al-Queda, telling his viewers, "God gave it to me in a vision."

Story from EP (Exasperated Press)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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