Jane Austen Gets a Makeover, Sex Beats Sensibility.

Written by Tom Taylor

Friday, 23 March 2007

Hey!

The story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature. This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you wish to back out now, please click here to go back to the home page.

image for Jane Austen Gets a Makeover, Sex Beats Sensibility.
The life and times of Jane Austen... supermodel! Publisher Proud of Prejudice.

Jane Austen's life is about to be a book and, naturally, the novelist will be appearing on the front cover. However the face behind some of the world's most-loved books has been deemed unable to sell them.

The Publisher of the memoir, Wordsworth Editions, has decided to 'sex her up' by adding makeup and hair extensions.

"Look, I don't want to offend any feminists out there..." said Helen Trayler of Wordsworth, "... but Mr. Darcy wouldn't have given this chick a second look. She's just dog-ugly. So, we decided the best way to start the true book of her life was to lie on the front cover."

Colin Firth was asked to look at the original picture, with his insight into Mr Darcy, and to give an honest opinion.

"They say you can't judge a book by it's cover. But how can you not when the woman was so clearly covered with ugliness?" Said Firth.

According to the publisher, 'Plain Jane' Austen may not have approved of these changes to her image but that's all right... because she's dead.

Trayler said one of the main goals of the book was to try to make Austen more accessible to men.

"In the second edition, we're thinking Jane Austen will have larger breasts and be wearing a bikini... there may even be a hint of nipple."

- Tom Taylor

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more