A leading delegate and official UN weapons investigator has claimed he has irrefutable evidence linking US President George W. Bush to Al Quaeda.
The as yet unnamed man who is in hiding fearing an attack on his life sought asylum at our offices in North London early this morning convinced that the CIA had already targeted him in numerous attempts on his life.
He claims that George W. Bush instigated and masterminded the plot to destroy the twin towers in 1993 as well as 2001 in which over 5000 men and women were murdered.
He also claims that there is no such person as Osama Bin Laden and that this was a persona created as subterfuge to distract the American people from the truth.
The man's evidence was given to us at The Spoof to go over and 'decide for ourselves' on whether or not it rang true or not. I looked it over personally. I was convinced when I saw what I saw. Convinced I had the story of the century in my hands, I handed it in to the editor Mark Lawson who gave me the go ahead and greenlighted this story.
I shall now, publish the controversial evidence below right after I finish changing this rather bitter water that I am drinking.
(I pour away said bitter water and refill glass with Thames finest before returning to my desk).
Ok. That's better. Now where was I? Oh yes, the controversial evidence is as follows.
1) George W. Bush was quite clearly......
(I clutch my throat in pain and recoil. I fall the ground just about able to write these last words before................................./////////sdflp[l bdafjk'm2111111111111...-o03