(NOT EDITED) Bitburg, Germany: After finding his dead sausage dog in a back garden, an 85-year-old pensioner called, Fritz Fredholm, alarmed the local police believing the 'killer' was a lone wolf!
Wolf experts examined the dead remains of Fritz's sausage dog only to find out it could never have been a wolf who eat the sausage dog for dinner.
Two days later yet another sausage dog in the area was attacked, this time luckily, it managed to rush indoors with a dog chasing it, a Labrador! The owners of the second sausage dog alarmed the police again telling them of this normally tame Labrador chasing their bratwurst lookalike.
A team of dog-catchers were sent out to catch the 'Cannibal Canine Labrador!' They spotted it sniffing the bum of yet another sausage dog playing in a garden! Just in time, they snapped the 'Cannibal Canine' and took it to a vet examination.
After taking a blood sample, they discovered the Labrador had mutated into a hungry-half-blind-cannibal-canine who loved eating sausages. Hence, the reason why it only hunted sausage dogs and no other breeds.
Sadly, the Labrador, or 'Cannibal Canine', was put down, but before it was turned into ashes, doggy scientists discovered it carried a virus imported from the UK, via China, which changed its genetic make-up turning Labradors into sausage dog eating cannibals.
German politicians are now warning the German public that this virus could spread like wild-fire, all sausage dogs are to be kept in lockdown, and gentle Labradors are to be vaccinated against the mutating virus.
Sadly, just like the AstraZeneca vaccine and its weird side-effects, the EU have not enough doses to vaccinate EU Labradors because they preferred to export them to India to stop Mad Dogs and Englishmen going out in the midday sun, and of course blamed Boris Johnson for the outbreak!
PS: The author of this crap spoof has been sitting too long in the midday German sun, WOOF, WOOF!