(NOT EDITED) Monschau, Germany: Treacherous black ice was causing considerable delays and accidents in the Eifel Region of Germany. However, every dark cloud, filled with sleet, has a silver lining!
Jo Johannson, of British decent, but now 'Double-Dutch', was driving his old-timer Volvo through black-ice-covered-streets when suddenly his Volvo, without ABS or ASR safety gadgets, skidded and hit an ancient lamppost. A freezing stray dog had just peed up it making it even more slippery!
The reason Joseph was driving in lockdown was; he was heading to a local hospice because of his agonising back-pain caused by a slip disc, OUCH! Locals rushed to the scene and helped Joseph out of his car.
After three weeks of agony whilst attempting to get out of bed, he stood up, and screamed, "Eureka!!" The locals stood back in astonishment! One onlooker rung up the local loony bin! Joseph then started 'Dancing in the Street' to a Bowie/Jagger classic coincidentally playing on his Jurassic cassette recorder.
He leapt up and down the street resembling Nureyev, without his tights, and yelled, "painless, I am painless, at last I am painless, I want to be free!" (After reading this garbage Queen will be suing the writer for plagiarism)
A huge white van arrived, the male hunky nurses captured Joseph, stuck him in a straight-jacket, and sped off to the local Cuckoo's Nest. Later in the day, a Nutty Professor called, Ziggy Freud, realised why Joseph was dancing like a loony after seeing his appointment at the hospital for a slipped-disc operation! The collision jolted his slipped-disc back into place, and Joseph, now painless, decided to celebrate as if it was carnival 2021, which has been called off because of Covid-19!
His ancient Volvo is now a write-off, but a local Volvo dealer offered him a brand-new hybrid version with ABS and ASR. Joseph declined their offer and demanded they repair his ancient model. They refused, so he is now busy, painless, searching for a Volvo-Old-Timer-Bone-Shaker just in case his disc slips out again!
"Crash therapy beats any op neurologists can offer," he now proclaims!