(NOT EDITED) Here we go! Jaggedone's:
Daily CIA (Cockroach Infiltration Army) Tabloid Fake News, Not!
MEXICAN BEER PRODUCER HAPPY FOR LATEST WHITE HOUSE PUBLICITY STUNT!
Corona Beer global sales have rocketed ever since a Junior Trump declared his love of the product! Luckily, he will not be seen in public for 10 days, but the Mexican Beer Company is working 24/7 dealing with global orders! One dickhead's misfortune, is another hombre's mass fortune!
ARSENAL FOOTY PLAYERS HAVE SECRET HANDBAG AT THREE PACES ALTERCATION!
Arsenal FC, renowned as a bunch of perennial losers, have decided the public should know about internal duels with players handbags flying! Jaggedone say's, "well at least one of their players can win something!"
PEP GUARDIOLA ACCUSES MOURINHO OF BEING A 'QUACK!'
Man City manager, Spaniard, Pep, has accused Spurs manager, Portuguese, Jose, of being a 'Portuguese Quack!' The Portuguese medical fraternity has confirmed Pep's accusation, and Jose has been banned from performing 'special operations' in Lisbon Hospitals. However, in London, he's still allowed to operate as The ex-Special One! Arsenal players are lining up to be operated on!
HOLLAND ACCUSE GERMANY OF BEING 'TOO GOOD' IN THEIR WAR AGAINST AGAINST COVID 19 AND ARE WORRIED THEY WILL ATTACK THEIR NATION ONCE AGAIN!
Tiny Holland is warily looking over its left shoulder at giant Big Brother, Germany. They are concerned that Germany is attempting to conquer the world once again with their BioTec vaccine! They fear Germans may march into Amsterdam and discover the Dutch hidden secret in making the best joints on the planet! Merkel, sitting in her Corona free bunker, has told Dutch Premier Rutte not to worry, and has invited him to Berlin for a smoke or two! Putin has protested, and Merkel told him to, "stuff himself because history never repeats itself!"
MANCHESTER UNITED FIGHT CYBER ATTACK AND WIN AT HOME!
United have beaten their Nemesis home form by defeating a Chinese cyber attack! The necessary three points required were not available, but at least Man United have proven to the world, they can win at home at last, even if their opponents were not from the Englkish Premier League, just Chinese wannabees!
So, Jaggedone's CIA, avid reading, multi-million public (fake news certainly), that's it for today...More as he escapes from his prison cell in The Land of Nod!