A small community in Iceland has issued a traffic citation to the Titanic for as accident in 1912. According to the Coldenfysh journal, the investigation into a hit and run has finally been completed and blame has been placed on the famous cruise ship.
Spokesman for the police department described the findings as follows: "An iceberg on its regular course with right of way was struck on an April evening in 1912. The ship which struck the iceberg then fled the scene of the crime. A complaint was filed, but we have been unable to find the alleged liner."
"About ten years ago, with the discovery of the ruins of the Titanic, we begin verifying scratch damage from the iceberg and comparing them with the photos of the sunken ship. We used analysis techniques we learned from watching C.S.I., and the chemistry set we ordered from Wal-mart online, to verify that the Titanic was the perpetrator of the crime."
"As this was a hit and run accident and the ticket has incurred almost a hundred years of late fees, we are going to fine the cruise line about three million dollars. The department will use the money to bring in a freighter full of wood so that we can keep warm this winter. A few of those things called electric blankets would help too. We'll also import a few of those Las Vegas showgirls we see on C.S.I., so we can really keep warm this winter!"