Hockey icon, Don Cherry, reeling from the abrupt departure circumstances of his broken CBC relationship, has been approached by fashion houses Jean-Paul Gaulthier, Dior, Balenciaga and Missoni, to be the enforcing face of Europe's "Save the Children from Pedophiles" campaign.
Named the "Cherry Oh, Baby" campaign, after the beloved UB40 song, Dior, in particular, referred to "the poetry of names" in the houses' joint bid to have a serious impact on would-be perverts.
"We will retain the colour, but enhance the swordsman", intoned Dior. "Then, we will put a space between "DI" and "OR" in the esteemed name. "Together, this should be effective."
Jean-Paul Gaulthier had simpler words. "We will treat every opportunity for learning like a unicorn cake. Simple, frosty....pointed. Magnifique."
"Look good; eat flesh." Balenciaga has sought inspiration from Lady Gaga's meat dress, but is working with the hemp industry to configure a coat with ropes and chains they hope will prove both effective AND useful.
"I don't know what to say," said Cherry. "I guess I'm touched. Can I say that?"