Written by Monkey Woods

Saturday, 16 February 2019

image for Man's Wife Cut His Hair, With An Outcome That Was Less Than Satisfactory
Yes, sir, I'll have that fucking mess fixed in no time!

Bangkok, Thailand - A man who allowed his wife to cut his hair was left ruing his decision today, after the enterprise went disastrously wrong, and had to be put right by a visit to someone who knew what he was doing.

Moys Kenwood, 51, of Bangpakok, had told his wife his hair, despite severely thinning, could do with a trim, and he was on his way to the barber.

"No need," she told him, "I'll do it."

After telling himself that, with so little hair not much could go wrong, he accepted her offer, and prepared to be shorn.

Five minutes later, the idea was in tatters. Clumps of hair that should still have been on Kenwood's head, were now on the floor, and gasps from watching children told Kenwood something was amiss. A look in the mirror confirmed this.

A period of remonstration followed.

Eventually, a compromise was reached, and the couple trudged off to the barber, whose services they should have engaged in the first place.

The barber was relaxed about things, and said:

"These things happen. People often think they can cut their hair themselves, and they have a go. When they make a complete and utter dog's dinner of it, I put it right. I was just glad that I could prevent him looking like a right twat for work on Monday morning!"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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