Canadian Immigrant Ruins Job Interview In United States

Written by Wesley Janson

Saturday, 26 January 2019

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Jackson County, Wisconsin. Tom Peters, a Canadian who immigrated to the United States from British Columbia out of economic desperation, completely ruined his job interview last Monday.

In his attempt to flee the poverty-stricken country, Tom traveled many miles through ice and snow to reach the Homeland of Opportunity.

Although he had spent many nights learning to abandon his own "Canadian" language while trying to learn "American", it seemed that the anguished refugee had a slight problem with pressure.

At one point during the interview, his potential employer asked him if he could handle stress.

"Stress? What kind of a question is that? OF COURSE I CAN HANDLE STRESS!" he bellowed fiercely, while pounding his fists on the table.

"I CAN HANDLE STRESS JUST FINE! MAYBE YOU'RE THE ONE WHO CAN'T HANDLE STRESS!" he screamed and yelled with profound anger, before getting out of the chair and hurling himself into the nearest wall at full force, in a spontaneous and psychotic fit of rage.

"STOP JUDGING ME BECAUSE I'M CANADIAN! I'M REALLY GOOD UNDER PRESSURE!" he hollered at the ceiling, while sobbing endlessly on the floor.

"For some reason, that company never called me back," Tom told reporters on Thursday. "And that's OK. I never really wanted to be a Walmart Greeter anyway," he added.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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