Saddam Is Still Alive

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Monday, 8 January 2007

image for Saddam Is Still Alive
Saddam was pictured here coming out of a Spanish public convenience

Information leaked to The Spoof claims that Saddam Hussein is not dead. Sources in Iraq attempted to contact officials in Washington and London by mobile phone, but instead of reaching the White House, the call was received by elderly spinster Georgina Bush, of Washington, Tyne and Wear.

Miss Bush, 82, listened intently as the caller told her that the man hung in the popular coffee table video was one of the dictator's famous "doubles", Mustaf Ashit, a Baghdad bicycle shop owner, who took Saddam's place shortly before the execution on December 30th last year.

The audacious "switch" was made as lazy, incompetent foul-smelling Iraqi guards slept at the Abu Hamsa Detention Centre, just 100 yards from Baghdad Kangaroo Court where the "trial" was held.

The "doubles" are, in fact, clones, and are thought to number more than forty. Saddam, himself, conceived the cloning idea after seeing "The Boys From Brazil", in which Nazi dictator Franz Beckenbauer is cloned to ensure the German national football team would always have a tyrant at the helm.

Intelligence experts are sceptical. The CIA believes that the phone video was a fake, whilst one operative has claimed that Saddam either never existed, or was a woman.

British officials disagree and, after rigorous investigation, have concluded that, if Saddam is not dead, he must be alive.

Moreover, they argue that the "real" Saddam Hussein looks nothing like the person who appears in the phone vid, and who patted George Galloway on the head.

Instead, they say, the "real" Saddam looks like footballer Franz Beckenbauer.

Saddam Hussein is currently alive and well and living in Spain.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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