Written by Monkey Woods

Thursday, 4 April 2019

image for Man Felt Rapid Effects Of Lentil Soup
"You, who dare insult lentil soup, sweetest of delicacies" - Aristophanes

A chance encounter with a friend in a market at the weekend, provided a rare opportunity for a spot of 'outside dining' for one man in Bangkok.

Moys Kenwood, 52, had taken a bus trip to the Pahurat area of the city with its plethora of Indian shops, tailors, and restaurants, teeming with the magical aroma of Indian cuisine. He saw his friend, Adam, and the pair decided to have something to eat.

His friend chose a curry, but Kenwood, ever the adventurous sort, selected a dangerous-looking lentil soup broth. This, as things turned out, was unwise.

The vendor regarded the Englishman for a few seconds, as if considering the seriousness of his request, then raised both eyebrows and started to spoon the broth into a huge bowl. Contained therein were potatoes, carrots, tomatoes, celery, parsley, pumpkin, and onion. The vendor informed him that the soup had been flavored with garlic, bay leaf, cumin, olive oil, and vinegar. There was a garnish of chopped herbs and butter, and small bowls of cream and yogurt in which to dip some Indian bread. There was a pungent tang. The vendor stood back, expectantly.

It's fair to say, that this menu item was 'supercharged'.

The meal commenced.

Within a short period of time, however, Kenwood sensed all was not well.

Glancing nervously around himself for signs of a toilet, he came up blank.

Suddenly, Kenwood rose, and headed off at high speed. Adam, his mouth being full of rice, had no time to speak before his friend was out of sight.

Fifteen minutes passed before Kenwood reappeared. He asked:

"Do they sell men's underwear anywhere round here?"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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