Netanyahu given 29 standing ovations by Congress at "It's Not Our Fault" ceremonies

Funny story written by joseph k winter

Wednesday, 30 July 2014

image for Netanyahu given 29 standing ovations by Congress at "It's Not Our Fault" ceremonies
US Congress authorized both awards

Prime Minister Netanyahu of Israel has delivered a special address to the US Congress yesterday, along the theme of "Carnage in the Gaza Strip is regrettable, but not our fault."

He was then recipient of the "It's Not Our Fault" award.

A second acknowledgement, initiated by Speaker of the House John Boehner "And It Certainly Is Not Our Fault," was awarded to the US Congress itself.

Enthusiasm for Mr. Netanyahu's forty two minute speech led to 29 standing ovations.

The New York Times described his tone as "grave, eloquent, saddened, precise, resonant with wisdom."

As the twin awards were presented in finale to Mr. Netanyahu's speaking, numerous members in the Congressional Chambers broke down in tears, overcome by what one (name withheld) later termed "the beauty of the ceremony."

The following summarizes key points in the Prime Minister's address.

Essentially the problem is entirely the fault of the Palestinians and its political leadership, Hamas.

True, normally it takes two sides to create conflict, especially when it involves a lot of death via bombardment with tanks, F16's, gunships, versus a few ineffectual rockets.

This is not the case here.

The Palestinians and Hamas are responsible for everything as part of a ploy to discredit Israel.

They have opted to be separated into a narrow piece of land, a ghetto, with the well-known difficulties of access, employment, materials, etc.

In the West Bank they have encouraged and incurred the so-called "illegal settlements," which is most rightfully Israeli land, although the Palestinians owned it for centuries prior to 1948.

They deliberately incited Israeli attacks on Palestinian youths last May, which cleverly led on to an extremist Palestinian group's capture and murder of three Israeli teens.

Israeli retaliation to that event, in more murder and beating, was literally begged for, then found highly pleasing by the Palestinians.

Their purpose throughout has been an evil and ill-timed effort to make Israel look bad.

Which has continued.

The current crisis, with Israel bombing UN shelters, hospitals, and other places of refuge has Hamas hopping up and down in delight, along with most Palestinian mothers and fathers whose children are dying.

This demonstration to the world of supposed Israeli brutality is a "telegenic" act of desperation, including the lopsided casualty rates, currently, of 1200 Palestinian deaths vs. 56 Israeli.

The Palestinians themselves, including those dying two year olds and their mothers, the comatose, the elderly, have devised this situation from day one.

Fortunately, and to the credit of western intelligence, as with the distinguished US Congress here, and the United Nations Security Council, this ruse to blame Israel is clear.

There is no sympathy. The finger of blame aligns entirely with Palestine, not Israel.

"No, indeed," the Prime Minister concluded. "You see, it is not our fault."

Hence to the awards.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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