It's Official! Angelina Jolie Adopts UK Foreign Secretary William Vague!

Written by Mr Anorchristic

Friday, 13 June 2014

image for It's Official! Angelina Jolie Adopts UK Foreign Secretary William Vague!
The Foreign Secretary finding out that Branjelina wanted to adopt him yesterday.

Over the last week, world famous super mega star and serial-adopter Angelina Jolie has rocked the political world by adopting the UK Foreign Secretary William Vague in a bid to highlight sexual violence in conflict.

The conference which took place in London was meant to highlight the way people went about doing their wars and how they chose to kill and maim innocent people whilst not committing sexual violence.

Ironically, the Foreign Secretary who sided with the opposing PM Tony bLIAR to go to war with Iraq , killing nearly half a million people most of them women and children, wooed the mega super, super mega star at the conference.

Jolie took center stage and made it obvious from the start she was in control and nobody would have given a hoot on the issue if Brad wasn't there, said at the conference: ''the new protocol would provide a "manual" for governments to end the crime of sexual violence."When our governments say 'well we want to help you, it's wrong but it's a process', we can say it's a process but here's a manual. The manual will show heads of western states, dictators and warlords on how to kill people without abusing their rights''

William Vague gave the performance of his life as he was lead to believe that he was at a film premiere of Maleficent when he posed for photos with Brad and Angelina on a red carpet. Vague's team had to remind him that the conference was about sexual violence during war, but during any other time it was probably OK, needed to sit down and take in his surroundings.

Brad and Angelina were so impressed with the Foreign Secretary that they decided to put in an application to adopt the Foreign Secretary under the dangerous dogs act as he would make ''a lovely little pet''.

A spokesperson for Brangelina Enterprises said yesterday, that 'the allegations of adopting William Vague are totally untrue and that Angelina did think that he resembles a ''ferret'' she once owned.
Brad went on to say that 'the Foreign Secretary was the inspiration for his Oscar winning portrayal of Benjamin Button because of his squeaky irritating voice and vague sentiment'.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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