Written by Jack Allen

Monday, 30 June 2014

image for "Sorry" Removed From The Dictionary
The usual apology for farting will no longer cut it...

The word sorry has become the first word to be removed from the English Oxford Dictionary because it has lost all of its meaning.

With politicians, pupils, and perverted next-door neighbours using that word all too often, that word has now been taken away in a bag of shame with rumours also surrounding the words funny, BBC and sitcom.

Whilst absolute detritus such as phablet, selfie and geek chic have entered the dictionary, much like an uninvited rapist at a gangbang, it is only to the taste of a minority. A lecturer at Lincoln University has welcomed the removal of that word as it means "students will no longer use that word to try and cover up the non-completion of an essay because they got wankered and had sex with the 3am nightclub left-overs."

However, the card industry is reeling from this announcement, as the removal of that word will, much like alcohol at a high school prom, create a huge bloody hole that will never fully recover.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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