Royal Pardon for paedo Savile in Brits' 2014 New Year's Honors

Funny story written by queen mudder

Friday, 27 December 2013


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I forgive you, Darling George, usual fees apply

London, UK - Queen Elizabeth is to issue a Royal Pardon in the New Year's Honors List forgiving one of the nation's top sex offenders plus some very lucky mates.

The new spirit of reconciliation with excluded minorities means prolific serial perv Jimmy Savile's knighthood will be restored along with his tattered reputation.

Also in the clear are other deceased paedo thugs like former Keeper of the Royal (naked) Pictures Sir Anthony Blunt, KGB & Bar.

And his sister the Queen Mother, roaring lush and bonkers gambler who died owing nearly five million squid.

Today's announcement follows the granting of a Royal Pardon to World War II code breaker Alan Turing, convicted in the 1950s on a sample charge of committing a homosexual act.

The pardon effectively wipes the slate for countless other acts of buggery committed at a time when it was somewhat frowned upon and elevates Turning to born-again hero status for stuff he did at Bletchley Park.

However, a sneak peak inside an MoD file on Turning's earlier career shows what has been locked down as Top Secret under the 70 Year Rule.

It is thought to feature the names and ages of some prepubescent lads with whom the brilliant mathematician had carnal knowledge - while all the time smashing the Nazis' Enigma machine codes that single-handedly saw him win the War.

Also thought to be on Queen Elizabeth's New Year's gong list are assorted pervy gangsters from a jaw-stopping MI5 dossier of Brit Establishment figures who for decades ran a paedo brothels matrix.

In the Coronation Year of 1953 this sordid web was granted the royal seal of approval with an official Queen Mother Crest in recognition of her role as chief patron.

Little wonder that Camilla Fucker-Proles is still 69.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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