Church of England Criticised for New Prayer

Funny story written by Capsule

Thursday, 10 November 2011

image for Church of England Criticised for New Prayer
Which Finger Do You Preach With

The Church of England (CofE) preaches that thinking of oneself is not the way Christians should go about their lives but thinking of others should be done too.

When we say our prayers we often pray for forgiveness and state "I", "me", "my", etc which is not generally thinking of others, so a prayer for everyone to enter the Kingdom of God has been criticised for being too considerate towards the worst people within society - or at least that is what it sounded like.

The prayer reads:

Oh my God through your mercy and power you forgive us all things,
You guide us through life and protect us from undue evils,
Your power and thought towards all on earth shows love and care,
You treasure all of us so much we shall all be saved from eternal damnation,
And through your goodness, all our souls will be saved and enter into you Kingdom.

The CofE has refused to reword the prayer but instructed all clergy to pause between words which when connected can sound offensive.

A spokesperson for the CofE said that anyone who heard the expression in the offensive manner should be ignored and instead of being sent to Coventry they should be sent to Anchorsholme which is an area close to Blackpool near Cleveleys.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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