China's Jade Rabbit stumbles across Old Testament cemetery on dark side of the moon

Funny story written by queen mudder

Sunday, 15 December 2013

Space - The existence of a vast lunar mausoleum stuffed with Old Testament prophets' remains was first mooted by the Illuminati during the notorious Judean power outage of AD 69.

Biblical hysterians have since insisted the burial site predates the Flood by several centuries, originally serving as a blueprint for the erection of the Ottoman Halicarnassus mausoleum during a time when the moon was a satrap of the mighty Terran Empire.

This weekend the Chinese lunar rover, Jade Rabbit, has confirmed the ancient cemetery's location during a test run rummaging among rock outcrops on the dark side of the moon.

Images beamed back to earth show what looks like a huge inverted pyramid leading to a subterranean burial chamber believed to be holding the remains of Elijah and other top notch OT seers.

Predictably, news of the discovery has upset myriad earthly factions whose stranglehold on the peddling superstitious afterlife nonsense has dominated Terran civilization since the year dot.

Commenting on the latest findings Chinese space agency sources have said that while slightly interesting as a lunar landscape feature the mausoleum could nevertheless be bulldozed to make way for large-scale rare minerals mining following the depletion of earthly sites.

A kilo of rare-earth broxillium retails at around $5million.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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