London, UK - Pals of Brit fugitive from justice the Gobshite Widow holed up at a secret terror safehouse at 25 Acacia Avenue, Barking, Isle of Dogs are having none of it of course.
This evening's televised predictions about the GOCE (Gravity Field and Steady-State Ocean Circulation Explorer) satellite's possible crash landing sites included a broad swath of Barking's legendary Kebab Take-Away territory of which Acacia Avenue forms a prime residential patch**.
Launched in 2009 to map the Earth's gravitational field around known terrorism hot spots the satellite has been eavesdropping on virtually all the western world's espionage agencies - including Germany's Angela Merkel Stasi Snooping Corp - following a mid-air collision with Comet Swift-Tuttle.
Tonight the spent machine is hurtling ever closer towards planet Earth, a suspected Gobshite Widow homing device pointing it at the Barking property.
Follow live coverage of GOCE's re-entry into Earth's atmosphere right here on this website.
**[Nah, it's just the wet patch on the last leg of the London Underground - 'Ed']