Shyster lawyers in Caribbean slavery compensation scam

Funny story written by queen mudder

Thursday, 10 October 2013

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This latest scam will end in disaster

Caribbean - "A classic, Ecuador-style bit of legalistic bullshit," is how constitutional experts have described some Brit shyster lawyers' attempts to sue the governments of the UK, France and Holland for acts of slavery committed by private individuals more than 200 years ago.

Launched by a fantasy-peddling bunch of London Human Frights Act crooks the action aims to squeeze billions in compensation for an aggrieved ragbag of gimme-gimmes.

This morning at a UN press conference announcing the move Saint Vincent and the Grenadines Prime Monster Ralph Gonsalves said: "These bastards owe us," in a grim echo of Ecuadorian wack-job Rafael Correa's claims to US super major Chevron's billions for environmental damage wrought by the country's own national oil and gas corporation PetroEcuador.

Gonsalves told a packed audience of just three delegates that he was speaking on behalf of 12 Caricom countries despite knowing their absurd previous slavery compensation bids were repeatedly rejected by the UN as little more than a cynical smash and grab.

Fortunately so far there has been little or no interest in financing the action by the usual bleed-'em-dry vulture funds who bankroll every bit of extravagant compensation under the monumentally assinine Human Frights Act.

Earlier this year one such firm of litigation backers performed a massive U-turn over financing the Amazonbotch organization's Chevron scam that will culminate next Tuesday before Manhattan District Judge Lewis Kaplan in long-awaited RICO racketeering and corruption lawsuit.

The London-based hedge fund and its professional partners have beaten a hasty retreat from backing the litigation after reviewing evidence in which deluded pro-Ecuador lawyer Steven Donziger boasted about his techniques for pulling off the Chevron fraud.

Next week Donziger and his Washington DC lobbyist cheerleaders Patton Boggs are up before Judge Lewis Kaplan indicted on countless charges under the RICO racketeering and corruption act.

Stay tuned to this website for all the blow-by-blow details in what promises to be a right old eyeopener as decades of criminality are laid bare.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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