Polish vampire grave could spell end of Pope John Paul II sainthood bid

Funny story written by queen mudder

Friday, 12 July 2013

image for Polish vampire grave could spell end of Pope John Paul II sainthood bid
His ancestor Pope Vampirus the Zombie also buries at the Polish site

Wadowice, Poland - An archaeological dig under Karol Wojtyla's family home in Poland has turned up remains of a vampire mausoleum where many of the late Pope's relatives are believed to be buried.

Geologists working on the 13th century site found dozens of decapitated skeletons with their heads placed between their legs in a bizarre anatomical rearrangement first seen in Transylvania during the pogroms.

"These ancient execution rituals were designed to ensure the dead did not come back to life," Prof Doug Krupnik of Krakow University's Mastermind Team said today.

A pair of similarly arranged skeletons feature on Pope JP II's papal coat of arms.

The discovery has cast a shadow over Pope JP II's fast track canonization plans as Polish geologists dig ever deeper to get to the bottom of this latest treasure trove of stuff.

Of course its existence had always been suspected but Wojtyla always 'swore blind' that was just a Commie slur designed to discredit his Run for the Vatican Roses.

The deconsecrated ground will now be cleared and made ready for the erection of a fish canning factory employing up to 666 staff.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more