Written by queen mudder

Friday, 15 September 2006

image for Dubai's McTomb raider accused of slavery
Dubai's McTomb raider at Royal Ascot races

Miami, Florida - (Associated Mess): Dubai's ultra-dodgy horse racing fanatic ruler Shaikh Mohammed McTomb is being sued in the Florida courts accused of enslaving thousands of pre-pubescent camel jockeys in a bid to satisfy his lust for desert racing in the United Arab Emigrates.

Papers filed at the Miami Supreme Court accuse McTomb of and up to 500 of his personal chums of 'engaging in slavery, conspiring to engage in slavery, engaging in or facilitating child labour, battery, assault, infliction of emotional distress and wrongful death' - and other related abuse charges concerning the wholesale trade in impoverished Asian children.

The move comes hot on the heels of McTomb's recent failed corporate raid earlier this year to take over key US defense plants and strategic ports via the Dubai Ports World company - a move originally sponsored and lauded by President George Bush in the aftermath of the McTomb family's solid suport for his War Against Terra.

Today's litigation news will come as a massive image blow to the Gulf emirate family whose lengthy horse-trading enterprises in the UK, Europe and in the US's Blue Grass states have been best described as shady, illicit, veiled in criminal secrecy and smeared with the blood of the 1982 IRA-abducted wonder-horse Shergar

When the McTomb raiders failed in their US ports acquisition attempt this spring a public outcry slammed George Bush's cosying up to this sinister criminal cabal.

Press reports around the world reminded the White House administration that the McTombs had previously attempted to purchase a long-term lease on the Pentagon and obtain a NASA franchise to build a nuclear missile launch pad on the dark side of the moon.

And so the McTomb raiders flopped.

However, media analysis has shown that Bush's admiration of the McTombs and their despotic tyranny of the UAE has flourished after it emerged that the UN Commission for Human Rights has voted the country as having one of the worst records of human rights violations in Middle East.

So impressed by these qualities, Bush's henchmen were soon inspired to give the green light to wholesale prisoner abuse at Guantanamo Bay and introduce the CIA's policy of extraordinary rendition flights around the world.

In the United Kingdom, the McTomb's principal horse trainer has twice been investigated by the Metropolitan Police's Anti-Terrorist squad and Special Branch for his connections to fascist organised crime cartels and money laundering via UK Prime Monster Tony Blair's official bagman/Middle East special envoy Lord Levy - who is himself the subject of a major police investigation into corruption in Downing Street.

Meanwhile Interpol has also carried out successful probes into the extortion, arms dealing and conspiracy rackets that the McTombs engaged in with Bush's own personal bagman, blind trust portfolio manager and former US Ambassador to the Court of St James's William Stamps Farish III - the US horse bloodstock owner who was investigated over the sudden shock 'natural deaths' of Saud Arabia's former Interior Minister and fellow horse racing fan Fahd Salman and his younger brother Saad just before the 9/11 atrocity.

The McTombs have been reported as planning to contest the Miami action with vigour. But their ability to buy off so much painstakingly gathered material evidence against them and their fellow child-slavery enthusiasts may be stretched this time.

Expect more news of developments next week.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
110 readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more