Written by queen mudder

Friday, 12 April 2013

image for New strains of fungal nail disease 'named after moldy Dutch royals'
Queen Beatrix of the Netherlands' feet [pic courtesy of NATO archive]

Amsterdam - The naming of a new strains of bright orange spores responsible for Onychomycosis aurantiaco fungal nail disease after members of the Dutch House of Orange-Nassau in an unusual honor, Koninklijk Paleis Amsterdam sources said today.

Discovered by mycologists at Holland's National Spore, Mold and Fungus Institute the virulent mold is closely related to a common Chinese fungus called Agaricus xanthodermus, the Yellow Stainer mushroom and to the controversial herbicide Agent Orange.

Its discovery sees the microscopic microbes immortalized by the maximae, amaliae, alexiae and arianeae monikers 'in honor' of Dutch Crown Prince Willem-Alexander's wife Princess Máxima and the couple's daughters Amalia, Alexia and Ariane.

Commenting on the find a research team member responsible for the discovery hinted that the original spores had been sourced by forensic testing of a royal Dutch shower cubicle following an unexplained colonic irrigation incident last year.

News of the spores' royal patronage was met with mixed feelings by other European royal houses who queried the tastefulness of today's announcement just days ahead of the Crown Prince's coronation.

A kilo of Spanish navel oranges suitable for home marmalade retails at around two Euros.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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