Written by queen mudder

Tuesday, 12 February 2013

image for Pope's secret pacemaker 'was Italian Stallion'
Now retired and stabled at a Bologna clinic

Rome - The Pope had an Italian Cardinal fitted up to run as pacemaker during his 2005 election run for the papacy a report in Rome's Corriere Della Que Serra Serra newspaper alleges.

Cardinal Gorgon Zola secured 49% of the first conclave run-off before Consistory stewards rumbled him over the use of blood thinners 'like Lasix'.

He was subsequently found to be 'a bloody relative' of Pope John Paul II after admitting his pontifical tilt was rigged.

The scam was hastily buried in a classic Vatican cover-up 'until Zola won the Italian Derby'.

Milan-born former UK thoroughbred horse racing champion Frankie Dettori is 69.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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