Pope Seen at Laundromat after Research Says Housework Helps Elderly Live Longer

Funny story written by Gail Farrelly

Friday, 14 July 2006

image for Pope Seen at Laundromat after Research Says Housework Helps Elderly Live Longer
Clean clothes for the clean of heart.

Many of the world's elderly have enthusiastically embraced new research findings indicating that 'normal' activities such as climbing stairs and performing household chores can help older adults live longer. Old folks from all stations of life the world over are suddenly throwing themselves into household chores at an alarming rate. In fact, residents of Vatican City were startled to see the Pope, clothed in a simple white cassock and matching beanie, doing his laundry at a local laundromat.

According to laundromat customer Cathy Catholica, "The Pontiff was completely out of his league, poor soul. He didn't know the difference between a washer and a dryer. I had to take him in hand and show him the ropes." She said it was good he was washing all 'whites,' as he probably didn't have a clue about sorting by color. "Imagine," she said, "if he had let a bunch of colors run together. He would have ended up with pink or green underwear." She shuddered. "It wouldn't be right," she said, "not for the Holy Father." Cathy was delighted to be the recipient of a special 'cleansing' blessing bestowed on her by the Pontiff during the final spin cycle. She beamed when confiding that he had asked her if she'd be around at the same time next week to help him with his wash.

Not everyone is impressed with the latest research findings about the positive impact of housework on the elderly. Wanda Workhorse, the 84-year-old mother of the chief researcher on the project, thinks it's a bunch of hooey. "May even be elder abuse," she claims. "Get as much work out of the old folks before they kick the bucket." Mrs. Workhorse, who keeps house for her bachelor researcher son, says she's tired of working HER butt off while he sits on HIS fat butt, inventing new ways to torture old people. She's presently busy packing her bags for a one-month vacation to Fiji. Upon her return, Mrs. Workhorse plans on founding a new organization, "Mothers Against Know-It-All Offspring."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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